Sometimes when an abled person says something to a disabled person they have every intention of being helpful but a disabled person sees it as rude and inconsiderate. Having a conversation with your disabled friends is no different than it would be if you had a conversation with one of your abled friends but unfortunately, most people don’t know how to do it properly or without offending anyone! Whether or not you are trying to be helpful here are a few things you that are definitely not helpful and you should just never say to a handicapped person!
What’s wrong with you?- For starters, there is nothing wrong with me. If you see a person with a disability, don’t question them, especially in such an insulting way. If you already know them and think they wouldn’t mind, politely ask them what disability they have. Otherwise, it’s none of your business it can be a sensitive subject for some.
You’re so pretty!-If you legitimately think I am pretty, then fine, but don’t just tell me I am pretty because you think I need a compliment.
My neighbor has a disability, do you know her?- I do not know every single person on the face of this earth with a disability. Actually, I know a very small amount!
HEELLOO HOOWW ARREE YOOUU- Some people talk really slow to me like they think I can’t understand them. That is my biggest pet peeve. If you meet someone who needs or wants you to talk slower, they’ll tell you if not, don’t do it!
I’m sorry you’re disabled- A lot of disabled people do feel sorry for themselves, please don’t encourage it. I happen to not be one of those people.
Slow down or you’ll get a speeding ticket- It’s cheesy and handicapped people always inwardly roll their eyes and think “haven’t heard that one before” when they hear it.
Let me hook you up– Yes, I have been told so many times that they are surprised that I am not dating. Some people say I am getting old and I need to hurry up and find a man. Others say they know someone and can hook me up. Honestly, if I was ever going to date someone it would be someone I met, not someone a friend hooked me up with. Just some advice for all the ladies that think you need a man to be happy well- you don’t!
I know someone with your condition, so I understand- It doesn’t matter if you are a parent, coworker, sibling or close friend unless you have my condition you cannot relate to it.
If you are disabled and any of these things have been said to you try to ignore it. All of these things have been said to me at least once yes, it is frustrating but there is nothing you can do about it. All you can really do is educate others and hope that things change! If you have any questions on things you should never say to a handicapped person, please leave them in the comments below.
Life with Spina Bifida is a personal blog that is all about my life with a disability, chronic pain as well as encouraging hope and positivity for those who are suffering. You are not alone!