When you are disabled finding the right man can be difficult. There are so many reasons why disabled people cannot find a spouse and I will explain why.
Focused on disability- Some men will not go out with you because they are looking at your disability and not you as a person. No matter what you do they will no date you. These people are not worth your time. Even though you are rejected by a man does not make you unattractive. Some men just can’t see past your disability.
Pity- Some men will only date you because they feel bad for you. In those situations, it can only end badly. If someone is being unusually nice to you, they probably only dated you because they felt bad for you. You have two choices- educate them on your disability and see if things change or dump them.
Care- When you are disabled there are more responsibilities for your care. You would want to be with someone who understands that and wouldn’t mind the extra responsibilities. Chances are if you were with someone who didn’t understand you would have to hire someone to help you out.
Kids- I can’t have kids and even if I could I don’t want them. I believe children are a blessing but due to my medical condition, it would be hard for me to take care of them. I am not comfortable with hiring a stranger to help take care of my children. I am not as fast as a regular person so if a young child ran away from me I could not chase after them. I would need someone who could. I would either need to find someone who didn’t want kids or didn’t mind the extra responsibilities. Another reason I would not want kids there is a higher risk of me having a child with Spina Bifida and I would be unable to take care of them on my own.
Finances– Once you marry someone your parents are not legally responsible for you anymore. If the man I was dating was unemployed I would not marry him because he could not financially support me. A person with a disability has more medical bills than a regular person I wouldn’t want the stress of being unable to pay my medical bills. I would not want to rely on my blog to pay the bills.
Not all disabled people are single. If you are there is nothing to be ashamed of. It is pointless to go out and date a bunch of guys because you are desperate. You will be miserable that way. Who knows what kinds of guys you will meet? You may end up in a really bad situation because you felt like you had to be with someone. Unless you truly like someone, do not date a bunch of guys because all your friends have boyfriends or are married. If you have any questions about disabled people dating please leave them in the comments below!
Life with Spina Bifida is a personal blog that is all about my life with a disability, chronic pain as well as encouraging hope and positivity for those who are suffering. You are not alone!