Happy Mothers’ Day! Raising a disabled child is more difficult than raising an abled child. There are more responsibilities that go into taking care of a disabled child than most people realize. After having a disabled child it can be a lot to take in because you cannot raise them the same way you would raise your abled children. I am not going to tell you how to raise your kids but I am going to outline some of the responsibilities that you will have if you were the parent of a disabled child.
Why me?- Young kids with disabilities may start to wonder why they are disabled and will go to their parents expecting an answer! Your job as a parent is to maybe not give them all the answers because sometimes you may not have all the answers but help them understand it’s not their fault! A young child with a disability will not understand why they are disabled and may feel like they did something wrong to deserve it. Your job as a parent will be to help them understand that having a disability is not a bad thing and they did nothing wrong.
Transportation- My eyes don’t work together so that makes it so I will never be able to drive! My mom literally drives me everywhere from doctors appointments, hanging out with friends to job interviews. Sometimes all my appointments aren’t the most convenient but somehow she still manages to get in all done!
Insurance company battles– Sometimes getting all the medical supplies I need can be an act of Congress. My mom has spent hours on the phone talking to insurance companies so I get everything I need.
Doctor appointments– Doctors aren’t in practice forever so when one of my doctors closes their practice I have to find a new doctor. My mom spends a lot of time trying to find me the right doctor so I get the best possible care! This is not always an easy task because I cannot go to anybody because some physicians don’t have knowledge about Spina Bifida and finding what that does can sometimes be difficult!
How dare you?- When I was born somebody told my mom she should have had an abortion. This remark is rude and should not be said to any parent. Yes, your child may have some difficulties but that does not mean they do not deserve to live! After you have given birth to a disabled child you may be overwhelmed about how to take care of your child and remarks like this just cause more stress. How did my mom respond to this remark? She calmly told the woman children are a blessing!
Comfort- Surgery can be very stressful and even more stressful when you know you will be hospitalized for a week. Instead of going home and sleeping in her own bed she stays with me the entire time I am being hospitalized. When I am being hospitalized and my mom is there it helps relieve some stress because sometimes I get too stressed out and need an advocate.
My mom has learned how to do things that an abled parent would never have to learn! My Spina Bifida diagnosis was not something my mom ever would have expected but since it is something that happened she has tried to make my life easier since I was a child. Parenting an abled child is not easy but raising a disabled child has more responsibilities! If you have any questions about the life of my mom please leave the mom please leave them in the comments below!
Life with Spina Bifida is a personal blog that is all about my life with a disability, chronic pain as well as encouraging hope and positivity for those who are suffering. You are not alone!